Space

What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
A Human Loving Alien
A Human Loving Alien An astronaut is the first to step onto an alien planet. The alien's are so excited that they change all their signs to English, and even rename some of their places and landmarks after Human places and landmarks and things. The astronaut decides the first place he wants to go is a pub. He sees a nearby alien and asks, "where's the pub?" The alien gurgles back but his suit translates to the astronaut in real time. The alien says, "just around the corner!" The astronaut heads around the corner and sees it! It's labelled "The Keyboard" and he asks the bouncer, "Why is it called the Keyboard?" The bouncer replies, "the boss loves all things human and changed his name to reflect that. Ask him, he's the bartender." So the astronaut enters the Keyboard and goes to the bartender. "Excuse me, do you own this pub?" The astronaut says. "I do." The bartender gurgles back. "Why is it called the Keyboard?" The man asks. "Well," the alien gurgles in reply, "since I knew you humans were coming I updated the name!" The astronaut is on the edge of his seat... "The reason it's called the Keyboard is because it's a space bar."
A Flat Earther in Heaven
A Flat Earther in Heaven A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. God himself was there and told him he would be happy to answer any questions the man might have - about anything across the entirety of Space and Time. So of course the man said: "Was I right?? Is the earth actually flat?" God chuckled and said: "Of course not." The man shook his head in disbelief, shaken to his very core, before murmuring: "This goes even higher than I thought..."
Honey, if you were a space station, you’d be called Deep Space Fine.
In space, no one can hear us scream.
How about I land my space shuttle in your International Space Station?
This love feels like floating endlessly in outer space and looking for your pretty lost smiles.
I wish I were your integral so I could fill the space beneath your curves
I wish I were Castiel so I could have everything in your personal space.
Are you wearing space pants? Because your a** is out of this world.
My space ship is ready. Wanna ride?
How did Michael Jackson revolutionize cooking in space?
Moon Wok!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
A Volunteer to Mars
A Volunteer to Mars NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and they could never return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.” “Why so much?” asked the interviewer. The lawyer replied, “You convince them I'm the best candidate. I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.”
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What do time and space have in common with family?
It's all relative.
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