Company

What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Company coming?
And your house is a big mess?
Just put on lipstick.
The Illiterate Job Seeker
The Illiterate Job Seeker A destitute man is walking the streets looking for a job. Eventually, he comes to a brothel with a "Help Wanted!" sign in the window. He walks in and asks the manager about the job offer in the window. The manager says, "well we need a bookkeeper at this here establishment, so, there are some things you'll need to be able to do." "Like what?" Says the man. "Well, can you read?" "No." "Can you write?" "No." "Can you at least add or subtract?" "Well no I can't do that either," the man says. "But I'm desperate for a job! I haven't a penny to my name and I'm starving!" "Well, alright here's a quarter to buy yourself something to eat." the manager gives him. The destitute man walks out of the brothel and by some chance, a man is walking by with a cart full of apples for sale for 25 cents. The man buys one and just as he's about to take a bite of it, another homeless man says "hey I'll give you 50 cents for that apple!" Thinking about it, the man agrees and gives him the apple. He then goes back to the apple cart and buys two more apples for 25 cents a piece and sells them for 50 cents. This carries on for a while and years later he is the manager of the largest fruit shipping company in the US and he's worth millions of dollars. Eventually, a reporter finds out about this man's past and he decides to write a story about him in the paper. But, before he can write the story the man needs to sign an agreement for the paper to use his story. "Well I can't do that." says the man. "Why not?" Asks the surprised reporter. "I can't read or write... How do you expect me to sign my name?" The reporter is baffled, "you're the owner of the largest shipping company in the US and you cant read or write? Think of where you'd be if you could!" "Well, I'd probably be a bookkeeper in a brothel."
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans
He really is the king of pop
I work at an Ink company in Spain. Yesterday I held a Competition about our company’s history. But looks like no one wanted to be a part of the
Spanish Ink Quiz Session.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn't block access to porn sites on the internet.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
In High Demand
In High Demand Employee: "Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?" Boss: "Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?" Employee: "Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years." Boss: "Yes." Employee: "I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first." Boss: "A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time." Employee: "I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade." Boss: "Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?" Employee: "Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!" Boss: "Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?" Employee: "Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!"
Yo Mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.