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Eat

Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:

This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should've watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves this bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains,
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.

I also got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around.

(By Richard Thomas)
I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny.
But it keeps them on the knife!
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them
A Hard Tea to Swallow
A Hard Tea to Swallow A man was out to lunch with his friend one day. The man was explaining to his friend how he had been exploring and studying different methods of healthy eating and its effects on your body. "After all," he said, "you are what you eat." The man sat down at a table with a salad, a lite vinaigrette dressing, and a small unsweetened green tea, while his friend had a fried chicken sandwich, a large Coke, and fries with some extra salt on the side. As they were about to dig in to their meal, the man realized he didn't grab a fork for his salad. As he was off getting his fork, his friend, playing a prank, dumped some of his extra salt into the man's tea. The man returned, sat, and took a sip of his tea and gagged instantly, spitting the tea all over the table. Immediately furious, the man snapped "what the hell did you do to my tea?" The friend answered the question with a question: "Didn't you say that you are what you eat?" The man's expression shifted from anger to disappointment. "If so, then this prank must've made you a little salt-tea."
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.

We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”

That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
My bunny is fat
He loves to eat cabbage
No wonder he’s fat.
World is vast and wide.
So much out there to explore.
Right now, let's eat lunch.
There once was a man named Brice,
Who had a nasty head full lice.
He said, If I eat them,
Then I'll have beat them!
And besides they taste very nice.
If ice cream could be grown on the tree top,
Tiny tummies would be liking it lots.
Any fruit flavour
For all to savour.
Do stop by at the ice cream tree shop.

If only the trees could grow lollipops
With a sharp tangy taste of lemon drops.
Lolly licky-lick
With a zingy twist.
Come along with a skip and a hop.

If chocolate heaven grew on tree leaf,
Bountiful, tempting, delicious to eat,
A smooth, silky, treat
In a chocy feast.
If only they weren't so out of reach.

If bubblegum grew upon trees that blew
Bubbles in the air, to catch and to chew.
Be nimble, be quick;
Remember the trick.
Don't swallow, because gum sticks like glue.

All are welcome at the Candy Tree Shops.
Feast your eyes on all the goodies they've got.
There are enough treats
For all down the streets,
So come and join the jiggery-jog.

(By Beryl L Edmonds)
What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can smell it but they cant eat it!