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Eat

Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
"Son eat the vegetables,they're good for you."
"But dad,they taste just like regular people."
Did you know that a piranha can eat a kid down to the bone in 8 seconds...
anyways I lost my job at the aquarium today
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.“
Mark Twain
“I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.”
Unknown
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
A Hard Tea to Swallow
A Hard Tea to Swallow A man was out to lunch with his friend one day. The man was explaining to his friend how he had been exploring and studying different methods of healthy eating and its effects on your body. "After all," he said, "you are what you eat." The man sat down at a table with a salad, a lite vinaigrette dressing, and a small unsweetened green tea, while his friend had a fried chicken sandwich, a large Coke, and fries with some extra salt on the side. As they were about to dig in to their meal, the man realized he didn't grab a fork for his salad. As he was off getting his fork, his friend, playing a prank, dumped some of his extra salt into the man's tea. The man returned, sat, and took a sip of his tea and gagged instantly, spitting the tea all over the table. Immediately furious, the man snapped "what the hell did you do to my tea?" The friend answered the question with a question: "Didn't you say that you are what you eat?" The man's expression shifted from anger to disappointment. "If so, then this prank must've made you a little salt-tea."
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.