Hours

Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
A Clueless Nurse
A Clueless Nurse A doctor is going around the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the man is lying in bad condition, worse than when he came in. "Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor suspiciously. "Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!" At the next bed, the next patient also appears half dead. "Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?" "Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse. Unfortunately, at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. "Nurse," asks the doctor, taken aback, "did you prick his boil?!?"
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home.
As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 am?", said the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture.", the man said.
And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?", the cop asked.
"My wife." said the man.
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s the village blacksmith.
I sat and watched this guy fishing for four hours this morning.

Eventually he said to me, "Why don't you give it a go?"

I said, "No thanks. I don't have the patience."
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
Yo Momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours...
They called it a day.
To Marie Antoinette whispered Montesquieu,
“Madame la Reine, do you want to squieu?
I’ll balance your powers
For hours and hours
Until I have bend your hole a-skew.”
Yo Mama so ugly she went to the salon and it took 3 hours just to get an estimate.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.