Ride Jokes

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Who needs a sled when you can just ride me?
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
My space ship is ready. Wanna ride?
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Do you wanna ride my mayflower?
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
— Oprah Winfrey
May I ride your broomstick? I lost mine.
Ever heard of Metalica? Because you could ride my lightning
The Important Photo
The Important Photo After a long night buying a foxy woman drinks, Joe took advantage by giving her a ride home. After the walk to the door, the woman asked Joe in for a nightcap... One thing led to another and before you know it, Joe was naked. After making great love, Joe rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, Joe asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer.", she said. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Now Joe was curious and a bit alarmed, was there a husband who will come back? "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly." she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all." she said, nibbling at his ear. "Well, who IS he then?" demanded Joe bewildered. "That's me before the operation." She whispered.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
The Boy, the Donkey and the Old Man
The Boy, the Donkey and the Old Man An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye.
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