"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Dorothy Parker
"A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of."
- T.H. Everett
"What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it."
- Charles Dudley Warner
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.”
— Sara Stein
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
"I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide."
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
“I’m not aging, I just need repotting.”
— Anonymous
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
“I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I’m the person for that job.”
— Anonymous
“I have a green thumb. Got it when I dumped out my kale smoothie.”
— John Wagner Maxine
"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
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