“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill