"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein