"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill