“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
– Milton Berle
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater