"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”