Funny Tax Quotes

Check out these famous and hilariously witty quotes about taxes!

Funny Tax Quotes

“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
– Milton Berle
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott