"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.”
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”