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yo mama Jokes

yo mama Jokes and more.
One Liners for Kids
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?

Where’s pop corn?
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Clever Jokes
Your mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Spice Puns
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
Pig Puns
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Book Puns
Treat yo shelves.
Nuts Puns
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
The Old Lady and the Bold Question
A little old lady with blue hair entered a se* shop and asked in a quivering voice, “Yy-youuuung man, dd-do y-you, sell-l d-didildoes h-hhhere?” The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop answered, “Uh, yes ma’am, we do.” The little lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, “Dddd-do y-you ha-ave any ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?” “Well... yes ma’am, a few of them are about that big.” “D-do aa-ny of them ha-ave a v-v-v-vibra-a-ator?” “Yes ma’am, one of them does.” “W-w-ell, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?”
One Liners and Short Jokes
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
Whats the difference between marrying a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl? One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father.
Birthday Puns
Yo momma so fat...
She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.
Sibling Puns
What are male twins inside a pregnant woman called?
Em-bro-yos.
Bed Puns
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
4th of July Pick Up Lines
Yo girl are you the 29th state added to America?
Because Iowanna be with anybody else
The Italian Mama
Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta." says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
Birthday Jokes
Yo momma so fat...
She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.
Thanksgiving Jokes
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
Bread Puns
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Math Pick Up Lines
Yo baby, you want to see me solve a quadratic?
Mosquito Puns
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Cowboy Puns
What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo.
This ain't my first yo yo!
I Don't Know Where to Put It
A young virgin couple is finally wed. Each one is nervous about the impending night, but neither is willing to admit it or ask each other about it. Wondering what to do first, the young man calls his father. "Pop, what do I do first?" "Get naked and climb into bed," his father replies. So, the young man does as he is advised. The girl is mortified and calls her mama. "Get naked and join him," is the advice from mama, so she complies. After laying there for a few moments, the young man excuses himself and calls his dad again. "Now what do I do?" he asks. His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the hardest part of your body and put it where she urinates!" is the dad's advice. A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do now?" she asks. "Well, what is he doing?" mama asks. "He's in the bathroom, dunking his head in the toilet!"
If You Can't Count On Family
Joshua calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama." The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up." "But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?" "It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the pain." "But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?" "No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've finally come to a decision. I have an appointment with the lawyer the day after tomorrow." "Dad, don't do anything rash. I'm going to take the first flight down. Promise me that you won't do anything until I get there." "Well, all right, I promise. Next week is a holiday. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the holiday meal. Call your sister in NJ and break the news to her. I just can't bear to talk about it anymore." A half hour later, Joshua receives a call from his daughter who tells him that she and her brother were able to get tickets and that they and the children will be arriving in Florida the day after tomorrow. "Benny told me that you don't want to talk about it on the telephone, but promise me that you won't do anything until we both get there!" Joshua promises. After hanging up from his daughter, he turns to his wife and says, "You were right! They're coming, and we don't even have to pay our half of the tickets!"
Anti Jokes
Yo mama's so old, she’s probably going to die soon.
Yo momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Three Prosperous Sons Return Home to Mom
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So, I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks. "William," she said, "the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Arnold," she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He's a pain!" "David," she said, "you were the only one who sent me a good gift, that chicken was delicious!"
Seal Puns
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
Funny Monday Quotes
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
Elf Puns
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Cowboy Jokes
What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo.
This ain't my first yo yo!
Peach Puns
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Corn Puns
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
Hot Dog Puns
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Turkey Puns
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Bee Puns
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
Train Puns
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Ketchup Puns
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."