"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams