“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx