“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin