“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw