“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey