“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker