"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous