Funny Self-love Quotes

These humorous self-love quotes have two side effects - they boost your confidence and cause a smile on your face!

Funny Self-love Quotes

"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.”
– Oscar Wilde
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."