"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."