“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam