“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous