“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings