“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous