“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller