“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy