"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
- Richard Jeni
“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” - Jerry Seinfeld
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." Charles M. Schulz, creator of Peanuts
"Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
- Oscar Wilde
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." — Steve Martin
"I can't make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75." — Rob Delaney
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
- Joan Crawford
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
"I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, 'And another thing ...'” — Felicia Michaels
"A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." — Rodney Dangerfield
"You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories." — Melanie Clark
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." Garry Shandling
"I went out with a guy once who told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, 'I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.'"
- Chelsea Handler
"My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan."
- Leopold Fechner.
"I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"
- Gwyneth Paltrow
"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." Tim Allen
"I love you more than coffee but not always before coffee." - Unknown
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
"The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
- Charles Schultz.
"I don't remember, you looking any better... But then again, I don't remember you."
- John Mayer, 'Who Says'