"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." — Erich Segal
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy but the Bible says to love your enemy."
- Frank Sinatra
"It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes." Lucille Ball
"There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower
"I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger." - Unknown
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X rays, but you know it's there." George Burns
"You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps." - Roseanne Barr
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." ― Sharon Stone
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." - Chris Rock
"When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own." — Lenore Coffee
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
- Charles Schultz.
“I was like, 'Am I gay? Am I straight?' And I realized... I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?” — Margaret Cho
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses."
- Thomas Dewar
"Love thy neighbor, just watch out for thy husband." - Unknown
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" Jean Illsley Clarke
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
"They say true love hides in every corner. I must be walking in circles." - Unknown
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
- Joan Crawford
"The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
"I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed." — Dave Attell
“I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!” - Jenny Han, 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before'