"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb