"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie