"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
"My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference."
"As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife."