"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough"
"Go, and never darken my towels again."
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough."