“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
“A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”
- H. L. Mencken.
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher