“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
- Rodney Dangerfield.
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”
- Ugo Betti
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson