“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
- Rodney Dangerfield.
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen