"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope