“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”
- Mary Karr
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns