“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
- Jerry Seinfeld.
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.