“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.
“Saw a chameleon today so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one." - Unknown Author
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” —Andrew A. Rooney
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
Jerry Seinfeld
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
“If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw
“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.”
- Jarod Kintz.
“I take my pet lion to church every Sunday. He has to eat.”
- Marty Pollio.
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
- Corey Ford.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted.”—Sian Ford
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”
- Bill Vaughan.
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
- Terry Pratchett.
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms.”
- Lloyd Alexander.
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm.”
- Alfred North Whitehead.
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.”
- George Carlin.
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”
- Hebrew Proverb.
“People teach their dog to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.”—Mitch Hedberg
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“You can always tell about somebody by the way they put their hands on an animal.”
- Betty White.
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc