“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci