"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault