"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie