"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault