“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote