“You drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
— Unknown
“You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend but it sure helps!”
— Unknown
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.”
— Arnold H. Glasgow
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
“Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
— Unknown
“Friendship is not a big thing, it’s a million little things.”
— Unknown
“We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.”
— Unknown
“Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental facility.”
— Unknown
“Never let your friends be lonely…. Disturb them all the time.”
— Unknown
“God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.”
— Unknown
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
— Clifton Fadiman
“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.”
— Charles Lamb
“Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”
— Unknown
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.”
— Sicilian Proverb
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown
“We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”
— Unknown
“I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”
— Unknown
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
— Unknown
“Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.”
— Unknown
“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’”
— Cookie Monster
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.”
— Greg Tamblyn
“I hope we’re friends until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the s*** out of people.”
— Unknown
“You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.”
— Unknown
“Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.”
— Unknown
“If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.”
— Unknown
“Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.”
— Unknown
“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.”
— Unknown
“To like and dislike the same things, that is what makes a solid friendship.”
— Sallust
“Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine.”
— Charles Dickens
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘D***, that was fun.'”
— Groucho Marx
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked.”
— Bernard Meltzer
“A messy house is a must—it separates your true friends from other friends. Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”
— Jennifer Wilson
“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”
— Elizabeth Taylor
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it’s a friend with chocolate.”
— Linda Grayson
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
— Oprah Winfrey
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
— Oscar Wilde