“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester