"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner