"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar