"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer