“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso