“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown