Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
I have to say “Hi” to the prettiest girl in the room… can you help me say “Hi” to that girl over there?
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper.
Are you a red light because stop.
There's something gorgeous about your eyes...
Oh, that's it! It's my reflection.
Are you a fire detector?
Because you're loud and annoying.
My fridge is hotter than you.
Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.
Do you like wine?
Because that's all your doing.
Are you a fortune cookie?
Because you're always wrong.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Are you from Tennessee?
Because you look inbred.
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.