Excuse me, do you have a pen?
Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone.
Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are you a tree?
No.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?
No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.
So how many cats do you have?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper.
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.
What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
How much does a Polar Bear weigh?
I don't know.
About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
I have to say “Hi” to the prettiest girl in the room… can you help me say “Hi” to that girl over there?
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won't do it.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
Except the direction I'm walking in.
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.