Anti Pick Up Lines

The complete opposite of pick up lines - Insulting instead of complimenting!

Anti Pick Up Lines

I have to say “Hi” to the prettiest girl in the room… can you help me say “Hi” to that girl over there?
You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning...
Why, because I'm so sweet?
No, because you're really fat.
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone.
Do you have a library card?
So you can check me out?
No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals.
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.
Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are you a tree?
No.
If I could rearrange the alphabet...
I'd leave it the way it is.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
How much does a Polar Bear weigh?
I don't know.
About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.
What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won't do it.
Are you a red light because stop.
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.