So how many cats do you have?
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper.
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone.
Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
Are you from Tennessee?
Because you look inbred.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Are you a cigarette?
Because when I'm done with your butt I'm gonna throw it away.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.