Anti Pick Up Lines

The complete opposite of pick up lines - Insulting instead of complimenting!

Anti Pick Up Lines

Except the direction I'm walking in.
Do you have a library card?
So you can check me out?
No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals.
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone.
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
Are you a computer technician?
Because you turn my hardware into software.
You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning...
Why, because I'm so sweet?
No, because you're really fat.
Are you a fire detector?
Because you're loud and annoying.
Do you know Santa?
Because you're not what I wanted for Christmas.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
Do you like wine?
Because that's all your doing.
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are you a tree?
No.