"Sip happens."
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"I make pour decisions."
"Back that glass up."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"No wine left behind."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Great minds drink alike."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"Love the wine you're with."
"Read between the wines."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"Here for the right riesling."
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"Say you'll be wine."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"You're the wine that I want."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"On cloud wine."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"You had me at merlot."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!