Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Partners in wine."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"I mead more wine."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Read between the wines."
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
"No wine left behind."
"Say you'll be wine."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
"Adulting makes me wine."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"You're the wine that I want."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Rosé all day."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"Great minds drink alike."