The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What a spud muffin.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
I hope for world peas.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I yam what I yam.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I love you from my head tomato
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Time to celery-brate.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Keep calm and carrot on.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I think therefore I yam.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Everybody romaine calm.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.