What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.