What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
I love you a tot!
We’re a perfect mash.
I like you a latke!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.