Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.