The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.