I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.