What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.